Generously Grateful & Gracefully Giving
I will give back, once I get this...
When times are good be grateful & when times are tough be graceful.
Have You Ever Felt the Urge to Give Back?
It’s a Friday morning… You’re cruising toward the weekend with a paycheck in your bank account and navigating through the drive-thru at Starbucks. Suddenly, an idea strikes—why not pay for the coffee of the person behind you? Maybe, just maybe, they’ll pay it forward, and a chain reaction of kindness will unfold.
It feels good to give. But let me tell you a secret: it feels better to be generous.
Give with generosity and it will be given to you. What you keep, is all you have.
What you generously give can be multiplied.
The Difference: Generosity vs Giving
Here’s the difference: giving is reactive, while generosity is intentional. Generosity thrives on firm boundaries, rooted in self-respect and clarity. It’s not about saying “yes” to everything; it’s about ensuring that what you offer comes from a place of abundance and joy—not obligation, shame, or guilt. True generosity often requires the courage to say “no” to most things so you can say “yes” to what truly matters.
The next time you feel the urge to give, ask yourself: Is this an act of generosity, or am I giving because I think I should? True generosity isn’t about how much you give but how it makes you feel afterward—fulfilled, not drained.
I often catch myself slipping into a scarcity mindset, thinking, “Once I reach this goal, I’ll give back more.” But that’s not generosity—that’s being selfish instead of selfless. True generosity isn’t about waiting for abundance; it’s about taking action, regardless of your current resources.
As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve learned the hard way that giving without boundaries isn’t generosity—it’s a fast track to burnout. Over time, unchecked giving becomes a toxic habit, depleting your energy, resources, self-respect and eventually running out of anything to give.
Kindness Is Not Weakness
Here’s where it gets tricky: not everyone who receives your kindness has pure intentions. There’s the complainer with a victim mentality, spinning their self-made problems into a guilt trip you didn’t sign up for. Or the person who seems supportive of you—until their hidden agenda reveals they’re only there to take.
I like to call them the “check-in for a check” people. You know the type—the ones who contact you under the guise of “just seeing how you’re doing” but after one or two exchanges, their ulterior motives surface. Their intent isn’t connection; it’s manipulation.
These individuals skillfully wield shame, guilt, and narcissistic tendencies, creating illusions that leave you feeling confused and drained—all while advancing their own agenda. It’s not a genuine check-in; it’s a calculated attempt to take for granted the gifts you’ve shared, rather than respecting the generosity you’ve provided. And let’s be honest: the most valuable gifts aren’t material things—they’re your time, energy, and emotional investment.
Looking back, I can see how often I gave to others when I didn’t even have the means to give to myself. The lack of boundaries made giving feel noble in the moment but led to resentment over time. That resentment often disguised itself as frustration with others, but deep down, even though they’re in the wrongdoing, it was a reflection of my frustration with myself.
One of My Biggest Pet Peeves—“Let Me Know If You Need Anything”
Here’s the truth: I’ve faced enormous personal, professional, and financial challenges lately—obstacles, which would cripple most. Yet, some people sit on the sidelines, tossing out the ever-frustrating and bullshit phrase, “Well, let me know if you need anything.”
To me, this isn’t helpful—it’s hollow. No one should feel like they’re being handed something out of pity. Instead, support should come from a place of generosity and action, not empty words. True care isn’t conditional or reactive; it’s proactive.
This ties into one of my least favorite sayings of all time: “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.” Seriously, why would you adopt a motto like that? My philosophy flips the script:
“If it could be better, it might as well be broken.”
It’s not about expecting others to give us more—it’s about all of us doing more. Life isn’t a spectator sport, and waiting for someone to ask for help when it’s obvious they’re struggling, misses the mark.
Now, I’m not dismissing the value of setting aside your ego and asking for help. That’s important, no doubt. But this isn’t about ego—it’s about intention. Imagine if we all embraced the mindset of Nike’s famous slogan: Just Do It.
“I am just about that action, Boss”
Marshawn Lynch’s iconic phrase, “I’m just about that action, boss,” is a powerful reminder that results come from doing, not talking. It has reached a point in our digital aged world, that most people will spend more time on the captions than the actions they’re sharing on their social media posts. In a world full of promises and plans, action is the only thing that turns intentions into impact—progress favors the bold, not the passive.
Because at the end of the day, words are easy. It is the past of least resistance and as a result, zero or minimal meaningful results. Actions are what truly matter. Even if the actions are not in perfect alignment. If you care, don’t wait for permission to show it. Take the initiative and be the kind of person who makes a difference without needing to be asked.
This isn’t about negativity—it’s about offering hope and encouragement. For those who can relate, let this be a reminder: those who endure the most are the ones who gain the strength to give the most. Challenges will transform into opportunities to grow, receive, and contribute in ways you never imagined.
And for those who know someone struggling, take this as your cue to lean in. Even if you’re unsure what to do, just do something. A small act of kindness or support can mean the world.
Like anything in life, it’s not about getting it perfect—it’s about showing up. So, don’t hesitate—just do something!
"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."
– Proverbs 3:27
This verse highlights the heart of true generosity—it’s not about holding back or waiting for the "right time" but about stepping up and giving when you have the means to do so. Generosity is proactive and intentional, driven by love and the desire to uplift others.
So this Thanksgiving, whether you are with loved ones, are or feel alone, let’s aim to be generously grateful and gracefully giving.
Stay Blessed
— Tyler Bossetti
⬆️ P.S.: Click on my name to send me a DM—I’d love to connect with you!